10 Reasons Vienna is better than Paris:
- In Paris, hustlers try to sell you glow-in-the-dark Eiffel Towers. In Vienna, men dressed up as Mozart try to sell you concert tickets.
- Vienna isn’t full of Americans complaining at the top of their lungs.
- It is clean and orderly and doesn’t smell like urine.
- Metro cars are taller and wider, so you are never packed in them like stranger sardines.
- The Metro tickets don’t stab your fingers, and you don’t even have to use them in the station because there are no turnstiles, so there’s no line to be help up by tourists who got their bag stuck.
- There’s a 36E fine for leaving dog poop, and Austrians obey laws, which means that…
- The streets are not full of dog merde.
- The buildings do not all look exactly alike.
- Museums are cheaper.